In Memoriam

Douglas McCrory Denham, a long time teacher at South Kent, died on April 1st, 2020, of complications due to multiple myeloma.  He leaves behind his wife, Dede, his two children, Dina and Bill, and 5 grandchildren. Doug taught at South Kent for 25 years. He and Dede then went to Ecuador where they taught English at the Colegio Americano. He finished his career by once again teaching Spanish at Albuquerque Academy. After he retired, he wrote and published a book called El Eslang y las Frases Figuradas del Dialecto Norteamericano. He was a loyal South Kenter his whole life.

Remembrances from classmates 

Doug was one of those rare individuals who led by example and practiced what he preached- without exception. At least from 1961-65 , when many of us played on the undefeated Midget football team with Doug as quarterback. On a number of days with practice cancelled, Doug had the team “ voluntarily “practicing in torrential rain on the field next to St Michael’s Chapel. (“voluntary” Form 3 am Chapel,early am hockey practice etc.) Four years later for reasons forgotten, Doug had the Prefects take turns on night patrol on alternate nights. Who was also patrolling just about every night? Doug! Thanks for the discipline and friendship Doug. We miss you. ~Starr Barnum ‘65

Doug Denham was a good friend for many of us, always reaching out to help and set a good example. We enjoyed each other's company whether it was on one of the teams, at meals, doing our chores, or just having fun. He leaves a wonderful life on earth having done lots of good. I will always remember him as a good friend.  ~Stanley Bartlett '65

Well, I was fortunate as a new boy in ninth grade to room with Doug and five others in the small freshman dorm atop the "old building". This dorm was separate from the main freshman dorm on the top floor of the schoolhouse. Maybe we were all a tad older than our classmates, otherwise I'm not sure why we were chosen to be together. I used the word fortunate because Doug(Blue) was an "old boy" having already spent a year at SKS and therefore he knew the ropes, this going a long way towards alleviating any anxieties we had in our new environment.

Even then, Doug exhibited those  leadership characteristics that later resulted in his being chosen head prefect. Doug had many excellent qualities; he was full of energy but not frenetic, he led by example but was not bossy, he was even keeled but not phlegmatic, he had a fine sense of humor and was always cheerful and upbeat. I never saw Doug lose his temper and unlike many of us his language was always temperate, never profane. He had a true moral compass that was unerring, always pointing the right direction.

 I taught school for forty eight years and looking back I can see why Doug was meant to be a teacher. I did not get to see him teach but I know he was a kind, patient, and engaged educator who forged connections with his students.

Doug asked me to help give our fiftieth reunion remarks reunion weekend and we traded emails for several months until we came up with our final draft. You would never know, other than the fact that Doug had been very open about his battle with cancer, that he was confronting this grim specter. His communications with us about this battle served to bring all of us in the class of "65" back together. His passing has left a huge void, a hollowness. You know the phrase that, "no one is indispensable", well the truth is, there are those people who are truly irreplaceable and that is how I look at Doug Denham.

With deep sorrow ~ Chip Hollinger ‘65 

In September 1962 I was fourteen and generally considered a pain in the rear.  After an auto accident claimed my dad two years earlier, I moved from Michigan to Connecticut to live with grandparents.  With one thing and another, I made my family miserable. 

But Doc Whittemore had grown-up across the green from my mother, and when he suggested I try South Kent everybody felt it could be a very good thing.  Boarding schools - whatever you may think - exist to solve problems.  Career military or international corporate families?  Youngsters who lack discipline or march to a different drum?  Kids who've got tools but have yet to accomplish something?   Rough edges and sharp corners?  Um hmm..

Well, I hauled my trunk to the top of the Old Building, met seven new roommates, and the Upper Formers who had rooms down the hall (Jay Greener, Tom Burgher, Chris Cole, Ivan Kuvalanka), then hustled down to get football gear (including a leather helmet) which - due to a treatment for migraines - I never wore.  

And the Fourth Form president came by our room to ask if anyone had experience being an acolyte for Episcopal eucharistic service.  Turns out I was the only Fourth-former who admitted it.  So this Denham kid scheduled me every Wednesday of the Fall (though he promised Father Holt would train him as an acolyte).  

At 4:45 in the dark morning I'd pull open the door at St. Michaels chapel and would climb up past the balcony - in the light of that spooky candle - to ring the bell by 5:00.  Then I'd bring out the books, get into robes, wait for Horsepower Holt to arrive, then assist at the service.  

And Doug DID show up every Wednesday morning, though a couple of times I had to nudge him awake during the service.  Finally, on the Wednesday before Chistmas break I arrived at chapel to (literally) show Doug the ropes - for ringing the bell.  My recollection is he had a black eye from the previous week's Kidget game.

Doug wasn't a big guy, but scrappy and earnest.  He had the reputation of being a straight-arrow, as well as for making not very good puns.  He was our star.  Thirty five of us graduated two-and-a-half years later.  Doug won five sets of letters (trailing only Clem Cleveland) and a separated shoulder, was quarterback of the football team,  two years on student council, twice class president, and Head Prefect.   Then after college he returned to South Kent and spent half his working life teaching and coaching there.

I spent some years figuring-out stuff, took degrees in Music Composition and Ethnomusicology, and ended up on the West Coast trying to keep an inner-city hospital from going bust.  In 2013 there was an email from Doug to all of us in SKS 1965.  He was going into an experimental cancer treatment protocol at UCSF, and asked for our good wishes.  I brought my guitar, found his room at UC, and tried to cheer him up with a song or two.   Not certain how cheerful he became, but he seemed to think I'd done something unusual and excellent.  

When he became an outpatient, we discovered a pattern: Dina's husband dropped him off at UCSF, and I'd pick him up and bring him back to Marin.  If he was feeling good, we'd drive around exploring and getting lost.  Sometimes Eleanor or Dede would join us.  We'd have lunch - often at Perry Butler's restaurant in Larkspur.  And we'd talk. 

He'd pose like William Jennings Bryan at the monkey trial, while pretending Abbie Hoffman always got into trouble taking my advice (only happened once).  But once in a while we'd get things right - like the memorial for Doc Whittemore and Cely Brown.  This entertainment continued a few times each year.  Eleanor and I stopped in Corralles for a few days.  I hauled the guitar back to the hospital while he was in for his second-round treatment.  Still, over time, when I'd pick him up the news got less good with each trip.

Doug stayed the course.  Sometimes life would put a bruise on his cheek, or he'd come up limping, but he jumped right back in.  He didn't curse the gods or complain things were unfair.  Every day was a great adventure, something to look forward to.  And not one of us will get out of this alive...

Once in a while a person decides who he ought to be early in life.  Even more rarely, he keeps to that decision.   I'll celebrate the life of one who did with George Washington Doane's hymn:

Fling out the banner! wide and high,

Seaward and skyward, let it shine. 

Vainly we seek to comprehend,

The wonder of the love divine.

~Mark Johnson ‘65

Confident without loss of humility, persuasive without being overbearing, passionate without losing the ability to listen, Doug was a person whom others naturally trusted and were proud to follow.  He will be greatly missed as an alumnus and faculty member.  ~Fred Merriman ‘65

D. McC. D. was the quintessential South Kenter.  In his six (yes, 6) years as a student he covered all the bases. Captain and quarterback of our undefeated Midget football team our third form year, he ultimately co-captained and quarterbacked the (slightly less) successful varsity our sixth form year. Because he grew up Peru, he did not learn to skate before getting to the farm but still went on to play varsity hockey for two seasons. Not big enough, nor strong enough to row on the crew, he was none-the-less an important member of the baseball team as well.

I’m not as knowledgeable concerning his academic career at SKS. But he did master both French and Spanish.

Most of all as Class President Doug was the true leader of our class and, as Senior Prefect, of the whole school. It was in no small part because of him that we were the awesome and legendary  Class of ’65.

I shall let others praise him as a gifted teacher at South Kent and beyond.

Because he was so special to us, our whole class came together to support him and Dede during his final years. He was an inspiration to so many. He was deeply loved and will be missed especially at reunions. ~Bill Walker ‘65